Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
