yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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