Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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