Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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