Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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