I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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