Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
