All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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