He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
