Slut skills are useful in every country.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
