Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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