let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
