if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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