There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
