I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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