Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
