Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
