Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
