You're completely useless in the revolution.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
