One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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