we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
