Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
