I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
