i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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