Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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