So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
