I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
