so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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