i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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