We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
did you just send me my own nude
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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