If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
