There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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