Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
