i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
