If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
