fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
