what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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