he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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