This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
