you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
