i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
