so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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