haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
id be glad to
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
