quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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