did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
