I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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