there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
