have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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