can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize