apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
