i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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