The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
