i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
