so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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